I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize