after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize