He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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