good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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