Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
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