he wants to bone in the snuggie
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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