Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
