id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
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