there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
