its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
