But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
