I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
