3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Randomize
