Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize