Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
