didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
