I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
