Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
as a side note pls kill me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
