I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Randomize
