what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
