His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
