Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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