I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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