I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
