You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
