well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
