I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
