You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
