I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He passed out mid-signature
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
