Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize