He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
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