i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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