We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
