she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
