Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize