I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
