remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize