It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Is it penis luge time yet?
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
