we have officially lost it.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i just google imaged poop.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize