the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
