She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Sober January is a disaster.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
