He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
