Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
