apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
