mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
