plz talk dirty to me
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just high enough for therapy.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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