she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
