Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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