i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
