I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
you made out with another girl for some wings
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
