I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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