i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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