my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
im holly from the hills drunk
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
