guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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