I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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