chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Come see our sink grown plant.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
