well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
