im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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