We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
