If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
