He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
