so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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