I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
