I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
