she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
