So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
