Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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