I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
