i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
She's not a foreskin expert like you
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
