I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
