So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize