I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
