ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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