I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
