Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
