Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
