she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
