My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
