there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
