i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
