you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
