new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
send nudes
from the living room?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
