Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize