No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
