Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
