Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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