She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Randomize